When you decide to join the Peace Corps, you plan on leaving you family and friends for at least 2 years of your life. Before the journey, we wonder about the new people that we'll meet or the new friends that we're bound to make as we all travel down the same 2 year path (less traveled by for sure). What we don't expect is the fact that we could loose that new somebody to something as tragic as death.
I'm not an emotional person at all, but having to cope with the death of my host-mother, somebody who had taken me in as one of her own daughters from the beginning, was so emotionally devastating for me. My reaction was complete shock (still is today), as it was for my family here on Ambae. I feel a great loss, but I feel for my sisters and brothers who have lost their mommy to an illness still this day unknown.
The death shook everything up in my life, as well as my family's. Since I was not on the island when she passed away, I missed the beginning. I came back about 25 days after and really felt as If things were completely different. Going to the family's house for dinner and small story times with mom were over - "no more simboro blong mommy", my sisters would say. The house that once was filled with singing and laughter were now filled with tears and long moments of silence. I really miss her.
We celebrated the 100th day on April 26th at the family's village. The hoas blong mommy (grave) was almost complete and family from all the surrounding villages were there to say their final farewells. At bongies on Ambae, everybody gets together for large kakaes and kava drinking. My family had held these bongies every 5th day since the death of my mom - that is a lot of laplap and kava! It was always good to see people that I hadn't since Christmas or even before the holidays, but I knew that after this main day, the bongies would end and things would go back to their normal ways.
Normal way, hmm..... I still am uncertain as to what will happen with my family. Will my dad send my sisters off to school in Port Vila, will my brothers be sent to live in the village with other mommies - mi no save now. I just hope for the best and send my thoughts to my family. I know things will never be the same now that she is gone, but I can still make the most of the remaining time I have here and try to help whenever I can.
I did get to take part in a kastom the day before the 100 days. I killed two pigs which came with a new kastom name - Molimataravi. The pig killing was just one of many events that took place the day before and the day of the 100th day. I'm grateful that my family let me be part of this custom ceremony - a memory that I will truly remember for a lifetime!
